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  • old age sexuality | Kalilily Time
    navigation Previous Next old age sexuality Posted on May 11 2013 by Elaine In contrast to my earlier post this essay which begins Becoming an old woman has been a sexually liberating experience for me It has given me among other things a great ability to love generously since I am not impelled to act out that love Go and read all of it It s a wondrous reminder to

    Original URL path: http://www.kalilily.net/2013/05/11/old-age-sexuality/ (2016-04-27)
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  • It’s NaPoWriMo | Kalilily Time
    navigation Previous Next It s NaPoWriMo Posted on April 1 2013 by Elaine It s National Poetry Writing Month 30 poems for thirty days Here goes 1 Some say the world will end in fire a sudden spike of life and then the glory But for her it was a slow fall into the cold of oblivion the bones of her face sharding like ice her fingers blue crystals clutching

    Original URL path: http://www.kalilily.net/2013/04/01/its-napowrimo/ (2016-04-27)
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  • NaProWriMo | Kalilily Time
    time had come And gone And I no longer dream of long distance running taking that last flight from anonymity Instead I wander garden hot spots searching for the solitude to rock instead of run to stop in time and contemplate the passing of Roger Ebert who was 70 Posted in aging blogging dreams friends NaProWriMo poetry Tagged NaPoWriMo NaPoWriMo 3 Posted on April 3 2013 by Elaine Wintersowing It starts early this need for green as the land waits in white quiet We dream a riot of leaves greening in the sun calling color from the deep of a bland landscape Sunflower seeds sowed sheltered from the frost release the hopes of wintered hearts and suddenly spring green The sun the sun and all we can become Theodore Roethke What Can I Tell My Bones Posted in dreams gardening NaProWriMo poetry Tagged NaProWriMo NaPoWriMo 2 Posted on April 2 2013 by Elaine three cats sleeping in the drifting sun later they will tussle mock biting and then they will sleep again follow the sun dream with their claws love with their tails Posted in animals and pets NaProWriMo poetry Tagged NaProWriMo It s NaPoWriMo Posted on April 1 2013 by Elaine It s National Poetry Writing Month 30 poems for thirty days Here goes 1 Some say the world will end in fire a sudden spike of life and then the glory But for her it was a slow fall into the cold of oblivion the bones of her face sharding like ice her fingers blue crystals clutching frigid white sheets sliding toward the final winding Posted in creativity death and dying metaphors NaProWriMo poetry Tagged NaProWriMo The writing in this weblog is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution NoDerivatives 4 0 International License April 2016 S M T

    Original URL path: http://www.kalilily.net/category/naprowrimo/ (2016-04-27)
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  • NaProWriMo | Kalilily Time
    It starts early this need for green as the land waits in white quiet We dream a riot of leaves greening in the sun calling color from the deep of a bland landscape Sunflower seeds sowed sheltered from the frost release the hopes of wintered hearts and suddenly spring green The sun the sun and all we can become Theodore Roethke What Can I Tell My Bones Posted in dreams gardening NaProWriMo poetry Tagged NaProWriMo NaPoWriMo 2 Posted on April 2 2013 by Elaine three cats sleeping in the drifting sun later they will tussle mock biting and then they will sleep again follow the sun dream with their claws love with their tails Posted in animals and pets NaProWriMo poetry Tagged NaProWriMo It s NaPoWriMo Posted on April 1 2013 by Elaine It s National Poetry Writing Month 30 poems for thirty days Here goes 1 Some say the world will end in fire a sudden spike of life and then the glory But for her it was a slow fall into the cold of oblivion the bones of her face sharding like ice her fingers blue crystals clutching frigid white sheets sliding toward the final winding Posted in creativity death and dying metaphors NaProWriMo poetry Tagged NaProWriMo The writing in this weblog is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution NoDerivatives 4 0 International License April 2016 S M T W T F S Feb 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 Blogging continuously since November 25 2001 Where it all began Kalilily Time on Blogger Subscribe to Blog via Email Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts

    Original URL path: http://www.kalilily.net/tag/naprowrimo/ (2016-04-27)
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  • Legacies: Burdens or Bequests | Kalilily Time
    done a book very similar to what I was proposing These things happen and of course I can still write it perhaps for a different publisher Because write it I will write it I must It feels like a legacy sort of thing and something I want to do for teachers of young children out there And as I write this piece now I realize that at some level I struggle with the feeling that I am entitled to leave a legacy I mean who am I after all Just some teacher educator somewhere So where do I get off thinking my legacy is worth anything Over at Time Goes By Ronni Bennett links to Legacy Matters and offers this quote from there what you leave behind is the evidence of the life you lived says Jill I want people to live fuller richer lives and the way to do that is to realize that we all hang by a slender thread that could be cut at any time I believe that we all should have a legacy plan so that we leave behind the gift of good records the gift of good directions the gift of family stories and the gift of ourselves This is different from your traditional estate plan or your financial plan but in the end may prove far more valuable to your family If you are a widely published and or read writer your legacy of words is an obvious one That s the advantage of blogging your words and thoughts and values are out there to share with the world even after you are no longer a part of it As long as someone pays for your domain name of course Apart from this blog which will disappear when my consciousness does what is

    Original URL path: http://www.kalilily.net/2012/01/08/legacies-burdens-or-bequests/ (2016-04-27)
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  • Dementia | Kalilily Time - Part 2
    One Posted on November 13 2010 by Elaine My mother s room looks out over a roof with the HVAC and other protuberances But over the left corner of it all I can see the Hudson River and the Palisades I can see it but my 94 year old mother can t Day by day she grows smaller in the hospital bed on the oncology floor with the patients who are at the point at which Comfort Care is their last best option My mother doesn t have cancer but with advanced dementia can t swallow and renal failure Comfort Care is her last option as well and this is the best place for her in this hospital At least I think so my brother doesn t agree I have blogged about my mother s condition before and you can read those posts by searching this blog for dementia and or caregiving For the past ten years which not coincidentally is when I began this blog my brother and I have disagreed about the effects on my mother of her journey into dementia What he insisted was her usual stubbornness and feistiness I believed from my own research was that insidious deterioration that had begun in her brain and would end just where it is ending I had read The 36 Hour Day I logged onto online forums on the subject of symptoms and care I subscribed to Care ADvantage magazine to get tips on what to look for and how to help her manage the changes I could see in her behavior and her perceptions of what was going on around her My brother and I brought our mother to the emergency room last Sunday after she had refused to eat or drink for several days was obviously dehydrated and had begun to tune out the world In retrospect perhaps we should have let nature take its course and she might have simply gone to sleep at some point and never woke up But she seemed in severe distress couldn t find a comfortable position to lie or sit in and finally unsuccessfully tried to sleep sitting up She had stopped communicating and kept rubbing her legs We couldn t tell if she were suffering and so we took her to the hospital She is sedated now as comfortable as possible during this time when her body is shutting down Her awareness already has except for brief and seldom moments when she is physically disturbed and then responds with wide open red rimmed eyes and an unearthly howl that resonates with a primal fear I have slept in her hospital room every night since she was admitted last Monday listening to her labored breaths and getting up to check her when her breathing stops for several seconds at a time When my brother comes to stay with her during the day I take some time and slip away to shower change my clothes eat something other than hospital cafeteria food walk in the crisp fall sunshine The time drags while I am sitting in that room with a partial view and so I knit read play games on my iphone check in with FaceBook and my son s Twitter check my email But this isn t about me Or is it Posted in aging blogging caregiving death and dying dementia family health knitting loss the dementing of White America Posted on October 6 2010 by Elaine What was going on Had decades of sucking down so much high fructose corn syrup not only made Americans incredibly obese but also messed with white brain chemistry to the point that some sort of tipping point had occurred Get the whole earth moving eyeful on how White America Has Lost Its Mind here at the Village Voice Posted in conspiracy theories culture dementia economy health politics I am a victim of elder abuse Posted on July 18 2010 by Elaine from Elder Abuse and Neglect In emotional or psychological senior abuse people speak to or treat elderly persons in ways that cause emotional pain or distress Verbal forms of emotional elder abuse include intimidation through yelling or threats humiliation and ridicule habitual blaming or scapegoating Nonverbal psychological elder abuse can take the form of ignoring the elderly person isolating an elder from friends or activities terrorizing or menacing the elderly person OMG There it is That s why I moved out from living with my brother and trying to take care of my mom who still lives there I kept trying to tell him to stop but he just kept on I m an elder and that s abuse And now I have to figure out how to get my mom away from him because at 94 and with dementia and a slate of physical problems she can t just move out the way I did Boy did I make a series of bad choices as I tried to be my mom s caregiver I ve been trying to remedy my situation since and now I have to figure out how to remedy hers What I find really interesting is that while I was on an anti depressant I never got mad enough to fight back no holds barred Now I m off the drug and I m really mad And I m fighting back Posted in aging caregiving dementia family health day 3 of dementia immersion Posted on July 10 2010 by Elaine She tries to comb her hair with her toothbrush and brush her teeth with her comb That s pretty much a metaphor for where my mom s mind is And this is my 3rd day here with her and my brother trying to ignore his rants against my caregiving techniques while keeping my spirits up so that I can be of best use to my mom Every once in a while she does have a lucid moment Soon after I arrived she looked at me smiled and then

    Original URL path: http://www.kalilily.net/category/dementia/page/2/ (2016-04-27)
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  • thinking of my mother on father’s day | Kalilily Time
    this way before before dementia took my mother away into her own world It was my son in law who recognized familiar sites the place we had gone several times for ice cream the miniature golf course where my mom actually did very well for a little old woman in her 80s And then I remembered too taking her into Hyannis to shop taking her on a nature walk through some strange grove of bamboo that also served as exhibit space for even stranger sculptures She had time to sit and laugh with her granddaughter and grandson in law It was a good time for all of us I think of her now after we walked on the beach this evening my daughter her husband and the soon to be nine year old Someday after I m gone I hope that they will smile when they remember this vacation with me despite my limping along with a bout of vacation annoying sciatica I am thinking of my mom today and wishing that I had been able to giver her more chances to enjoy her family while she was still able to enjoy them I am looking forward to this week

    Original URL path: http://www.kalilily.net/2011/06/18/thinking-of-my-mother-on-fathers-day/ (2016-04-27)
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  • floating into February | Kalilily Time
    a short walk around a few blocks just about as much as my joints can take today When I come back to the house I haul out a stool and sit on the small porch I close my eyes For a moment I am back in my babyhood carriage the old kind from the 40s with an oil cloth cover that rolls up to my chin so that I am warm and snuggly inside even though my nose is cold The sun is warm and bright on my closed eyelids I want to be a child again I think of my mother how young and happy she was when she pushed me in that carriage how disappointment and dementia drained from her spirit what was the best of her I think of her because her 95th birthday would have been this month she would have made it had she lived for three more months But it s just as well that she didn t those months would have only extended her hell on earth I could sit here all day pretending But I have a math challenge to confront figuring out how to use a sweater pattern I like but using a different weight yarn and different size needles It s all algebra but math challenged that I am I have to work myself up to grappling with setting up the equations I can t seem to keep my body in shape but I try to do so with my brain I do have to deal with my body though despite the back problems I m hoping I can try the chair yoga this week at the senior center in town that is if it s not canceled again because of a another snow storm And I ve begun firing

    Original URL path: http://www.kalilily.net/2011/02/06/floating-into-february/ (2016-04-27)
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